Blog Posts

When you can’t stop criticizing each other – how to stop the blame game

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When you can’t stop criticizing each other – how to stop the blame game Do you ever think or say “I can never do anything right!” or “No matter what I do, it’s never good enough for you!” when you’re involved in yet another squabble with your partner? When Harry and Jen came to see me for couple’s counselling in Burnaby they were both very frustrated. Over the last couple of years their bickering had …

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“Pillow Talk” Part 2: addressing orgasm difficulties

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“Pillow Talk” Part 2: addressing orgasm difficulties Have you ever faked an orgasm? If yes, please take a moment and acknowledge to yourself why you answered the famous question “Did you come?” with a lie. As a sex therapist and relationship counsellor I help couples address this questions and the potential surrounding anxieties in a way that is nurturing and supportive rather than anxiety provoking and frustrating. When the question “Did you come?” turns into …

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“Pillow Talk” Part 1: Communication Tips from an Intimacy Counsellor

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Pillow Talk Part 1: Communication Tips from an Intimacy Counsellor Are you comfortable talking about sex with your partner? This is one of the first questions I ask couples who come to my Burnaby Marriage counselling practice  for Sex Therapy or Intimacy counselling. While we are flooded with all types of sexual images in the media and many marketing strategies use “sexiness” to entice us to buy something, many couples are not very comfortable conversing …

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3 Key Practices for Creating Relationship Thrival

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3 Key Practices for Creating Relationship Thrival Have you stopped feeling special in your relationship? As a marriage therapist, I often hear one half of a couple who has come for couple’s counselling, share his or her sadness and disappointment about not feeling special anymore in the relationship. This can prompt the other spouse to exclaim “What do you mean, you don’t feel special? Of course you’re special to me.” Often  the partner replies with something similar to …

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How to stop the Power Struggle in your relationship

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How to stop the Power Struggle in your relationship When couples consider marriage counselling or relationship therapy, they’re often   gridlocked or stuck in a power struggle. A very common issue that surfaces in couple’s counselling sessions is “He or she is so controlling, I can’t stand it anymore.” Two things may be happening if you’re partner has a need to control, i.e. decide how things get done or what you’re going to be doing. First …

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Do you enjoy sex more after a few drinks?

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Do you enjoy sex more after a few drinks? Do you feel less inhibited or does it seem like you can “let yourself go more” sexually after you’ve had a drink or two or three? As a marriage counsellor and relationship therapist I often hear couples share that over time their sex life has lost some of its initial “sparkle.” Recently one couple, let’s call them Mary and Tom,  shared that they had gotten into …

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