boundaries

The double-edged sword of asking for help

The Double-Edged Sword of Asking for Help With many of you being at home with your family 24/7 right now, there’s lots that needs to get done. And for some of you asking for help is not always easy.  Here are some things that can get in the way of a satisfying response and collaboration in response to your ask. You might think that you have to do everything yourself otherwise it will not be …

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The “J factor” almost destroyed them and everything they had built together

The “J factor” almost destroyed them and everything they had built together Jessica and Milo hadn’t talked for almost 2 weeks. Every time they tried to discuss something, things seemed to escalate into a fight. And lately, every time they had a fight, they were so fed up that they struggled to reconnect.  After their last argument they didn’t speak to each other for over 2 weeks. It had gotten quite ridiculous and they were …

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3 fingers: a simple practice to reduce conflict and increase connection with your partner

3 fingers: a simple practice to reduce conflict and increase connection with your partner One of the most common “complaints” I hear from couples when they make an appointment for couple’s counselling or relationship therapy is how fed up they are  with all the negativity between them. Are you tired of bickering all the time? Are you a nag? Does it feel like conflict erupts out of nowhere… one minute things seem to be fine …

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Has Addiction damaged your self-esteem?

Has Addiction damaged your self-esteem? It doesn’t matter whether you love someone who is struggling with Addiction or if you are an Addict, part of the emotional roller coaster of living with Addiction is the impact it has on your self-esteem. As an Addictions Counsellor and Marriage therapist I often help couples navigate the journey of recovery from co-depency and other addiction to rebuilding trust and self-esteem. Can you relate to Hank and Renée? When …

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Are you stressed and feeling in constant crisis mode?

Are you stressed and feeling in constant crisis mode? Do you spend a lot of time worrying about things that are out of your control? Do you agonize over doing it just right so you can avoid conflict of disappointing others?  Perhaps you experience “crises” similar to the following examples: Your adult daughter calls you frantically from work. This is her first day at the new job and she was supposed to bring various signed …

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Is scorekeeping eroding your marriage?

Is score keeping eroding your marriage? Have you felt hurt, disappointed, under appreciated or rejected in response to something your spouse said or did or didn’t do? And have you then gone ahead and adjusted your own behaviour based on that experience? Take the example of Quinn and Lara: Lara used to cook dinner for Quinn but often he would come home late and her lovingly prepared meal would be cold or overcooked. She interpreted …

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