perfectionism

Are you stressed and feeling in constant crisis mode?

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Are you stressed and feeling in constant crisis mode? Do you spend a lot of time worrying about things that are out of your control? Do you agonize over doing it just right so you can avoid conflict of disappointing others?  Perhaps you experience “crises” similar to the following examples: Your adult daughter calls you frantically from work. This is her first day at the new job and she was supposed to bring various signed …

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When you can’t stop criticizing each other – how to stop the blame game

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When you can’t stop criticizing each other – how to stop the blame game Do you ever think or say “I can never do anything right!” or “No matter what I do, it’s never good enough for you!” when you’re involved in yet another squabble with your partner? When Harry and Jen came to see me for couple’s counselling in Burnaby they were both very frustrated. Over the last couple of years their bickering had …

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Do you enjoy sex more after a few drinks?

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Do you enjoy sex more after a few drinks? Do you feel less inhibited or does it seem like you can “let yourself go more” sexually after you’ve had a drink or two or three? As a marriage counsellor and relationship therapist I often hear couples share that over time their sex life has lost some of its initial “sparkle.” Recently one couple, let’s call them Mary and Tom,  shared that they had gotten into …

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Becoming a caregiver and the perfectionism trap

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Becoming a caregiver and the perfectionism trap Becoming a caregiver can activate a lot of emotions. Particularly when women become responsible for the care of a parent, I have noticed how easy it is to get caught in the perfectionism trap.   It becomes important to do a perfect job, to be a perfect caregiver…adding an extra layer of stress. I have yet to meet a woman who isn’t familiar, at least to some extent, with …

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Having difficulty asking for what you want? Get help from a baby.

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Having difficulty asking for what you want? Get help from a baby. When you were a baby you had no problem making your needs and desires known. You weren’t plagued with self- doubts! What changed? Many of my clients often seek counselling help for depression, relief from anxiety, or counselling support thru grief and loss. As we sift thru the layers, all problems usually have one underlying theme. Even in my work as marriage counsellor …

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