codependency

Couples argue less without this question / habit

Couples argue less without this question / habit When I am couples counselling I often hear couples complain that they end up in an argument with their spouse while trying to express how they feel about something. Usually this happens because one partner uses questions to indirectly get a message across rather than speaking directly about what is going on. Take a look at this video to discover how eliminating the “Why” question can make …

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Becoming a caregiver and the perfectionism trap

Becoming a caregiver and the perfectionism trap Becoming a caregiver can activate a lot of emotions. Particularly when women become responsible for the care of a parent, I have noticed how easy it is to get caught in the perfectionism trap.   It becomes important to do a perfect job, to be a perfect caregiver…adding an extra layer of stress. I have yet to meet a woman who isn’t familiar, at least to some extent, with …

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How you can reap the benefits of change

How you can reap the benefits of change Change can sneak up on you. When I work with clients who are seeing me for life transition counselling, most of the time we identify the presence of precursors indicating that things had been changing already for quite a while. Change can be a wonderful thing; a catalyst for positive shifts in your life. But whether planned, expected or not, most of us resist change because with it comes the …

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Are you getting bigger because you’re making yourself small? Part 1

Are you getting bigger because you’re making yourself small? Part 1 You might be wondering what I mean with ”making yourself small”? What I’m referring to, is the popular habit of not paying attention to or denying our needs. Especially women are still in large part dealing with the impact of their social cultural conditioning of the caretaking role and what that is supposed to look like. Many of us grew up learning that being …

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