Is score keeping eroding your marriage? Have you felt hurt, disappointed, under appreciated or rejected in response to something your spouse said or did or didn’t do? And have you then gone ahead and adjusted your own behaviour based on that experience? Take the example of Quinn and Lara: Lara used to cook dinner for Quinn but often he would come home late and her lovingly prepared meal would be cold or overcooked. She interpreted …
Improve your happiness quotient by learning this mantra Do you worry about your loved ones being disappointed, or feeling bad in some shape or form? Do try to save your children from feeling/experiencing pain and disappointment in life? Do you work hard to manage your loved one’s feelings so he or she doesn’t get sick, relapse, become depressed again, get triggered into some other painful place? Are you the super attentive and kind friend always …
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Do you know the number 1 secret to a fulfilling long-term relationship? You may be surprised if I told you that you would have received an answer to this question at my Hot Yoga class the other day. While several of us were struggling with a pose, the instructor repeated “The answer lies in the connection!” a few times. From experience I know this is true. When I can stay fully connected to my body …
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3 Key Practices for Creating Relationship Thrival Have you stopped feeling special in your relationship? As a marriage therapist, I often hear one half of a couple who has come for couple’s counselling, share his or her sadness and disappointment about not feeling special anymore in the relationship. This can prompt the other spouse to exclaim “What do you mean, you don’t feel special? Of course you’re special to me.” Often the partner replies with something similar to …
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Do you enjoy sex more after a few drinks? Do you feel less inhibited or does it seem like you can “let yourself go more” sexually after you’ve had a drink or two or three? As a marriage counsellor and relationship therapist I often hear couples share that over time their sex life has lost some of its initial “sparkle.” Recently one couple, let’s call them Mary and Tom, shared that they had gotten into …
Do you know these 2 essential ingredients for relationship thrival? One of the most basic needs that humans have is to be heard and seen. Being heard and seen by someone you love creates joy and well-being. What do I mean when I talk about hearing and seeing someone? I’m talking about attunement and boundaries. When I start working with new counselling clients, our first session is always a boundary session. We explore how boundaries …
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