Lucinda

Do you know these 2 essential ingredients for relationship thrival?

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Do you know these 2 essential ingredients for relationship thrival? One of the most basic needs that humans  have is to be heard and seen. Being heard and seen by someone  you love creates joy and well-being. What do I mean when I talk about hearing and seeing someone? I’m talking about attunement and boundaries. When I start working with new counselling clients, our first session is always a boundary session. We explore how boundaries …

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Couples argue less without this question / habit

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Couples argue less without this question / habit When I am couples counselling I often hear couples complain that they end up in an argument with their spouse while trying to express how they feel about something. Usually this happens because one partner uses questions to indirectly get a message across rather than speaking directly about what is going on. Take a look at this video to discover how eliminating the “Why” question can make …

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Use this technique to fight less with your partner

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Use this technique to fight less with your partner In my couples counselling sessions, a common issue that surfaces is how much time the couple spends bickering or arguing. Upon closer inspection we usually discover that discussions or arguments could be more succinct and clear if each individual was in the habit of regular introspection. Arguments often ensue because Partner A says or does (or doesn’t say or do)  something which triggers Partner B. Often …

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Becoming a caregiver and the perfectionism trap

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Becoming a caregiver and the perfectionism trap Becoming a caregiver can activate a lot of emotions. Particularly when women become responsible for the care of a parent, I have noticed how easy it is to get caught in the perfectionism trap.   It becomes important to do a perfect job, to be a perfect caregiver…adding an extra layer of stress. I have yet to meet a woman who isn’t familiar, at least to some extent, with …

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Stressed? Anxious?…Just breathe…

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Stressed? Anxious?…Just breathe… You might wonder how breathing can alleviate stress… it’s not as if you weren’t breathing the last time you were stressed or anxious. But if you think about how you tend to breathe when you’re tense, you will most likely realize that your breathing is quite shallow. I’d like to thank North Vancouver Kinesiologist Raina Croner who facilitates Corrective Exercise Therapy & Personal Health Training at www.inspiringmovement.com (604-760-1205) for generously contributing this …

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Having difficulty asking for what you want? Get help from a baby.

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Having difficulty asking for what you want? Get help from a baby. When you were a baby you had no problem making your needs and desires known. You weren’t plagued with self- doubts! What changed? Many of my clients often seek counselling help for depression, relief from anxiety, or counselling support thru grief and loss. As we sift thru the layers, all problems usually have one underlying theme. Even in my work as marriage counsellor …

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