boundaries

“Pillow Talk” Part 1: Communication Tips from an Intimacy Counsellor

Pillow Talk Part 1: Communication Tips from an Intimacy Counsellor Are you comfortable talking about sex with your partner? This is one of the first questions I ask couples who come to my Burnaby Marriage counselling practice  for Sex Therapy or Intimacy counselling. While we are flooded with all types of sexual images in the media and many marketing strategies use “sexiness” to entice us to buy something, many couples are not very comfortable conversing …

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3 Key Practices for Creating Relationship Thrival

3 Key Practices for Creating Relationship Thrival Have you stopped feeling special in your relationship? As a marriage therapist, I often hear one half of a couple who has come for couple’s counselling, share his or her sadness and disappointment about not feeling special anymore in the relationship. This can prompt the other spouse to exclaim “What do you mean, you don’t feel special? Of course you’re special to me.” Often  the partner replies with something similar to …

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How to stop the Power Struggle in your relationship

How to stop the Power Struggle in your relationship When couples consider marriage counselling or relationship therapy, they’re often   gridlocked or stuck in a power struggle. A very common issue that surfaces in couple’s counselling sessions is “He or she is so controlling, I can’t stand it anymore.” Two things may be happening if you’re partner has a need to control, i.e. decide how things get done or what you’re going to be doing. First …

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Do you enjoy sex more after a few drinks?

Do you enjoy sex more after a few drinks? Do you feel less inhibited or does it seem like you can “let yourself go more” sexually after you’ve had a drink or two or three? As a marriage counsellor and relationship therapist I often hear couples share that over time their sex life has lost some of its initial “sparkle.” Recently one couple, let’s call them Mary and Tom,  shared that they had gotten into …

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What should be on the top of your to-do list to make your marriage flourish?

What should be on the top of your to-do list to make your marriage flourish? Over the years of offering marriage counseling to couples, I’ve noticed that there are some recurring stories or themes that propel individuals to seek out couples counseling.   One such theme is “I’m not getting a lot out of our marriage/relationship anymore.” This statement is often accompanied with a sense of bewilderment, sadness or resignation. There is a sense of …

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How to stop having certain arguments over and over again…

How to stop having certain arguments over and over again… Do you struggle to understand your partner at times? Maybe when you met and were freshly in love, the fact that you were different was exciting and interesting. But when the novelty wears off, it’s easy to move from admiring a particular trait to finding it irritating or “wrong.” This can then become a place where you don’t see eye to eye, your frustrations rub …

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