Use this technique to fight less with your partner

In my couples counselling sessions, a common issue that surfaces is how much time the couple spends bickering or arguing. Upon closer inspection we usually discover that discussions or arguments could be more succinct and clear if each individual was in the habit of regular introspection. Arguments often ensue because Partner A says or does (or doesn’t say or do)  something which triggers Partner B.

Often Partner B simply reacts without having gained any clarity about why he or she is upset, i.e. what is he or she feeling and  needing right now. Rather than being able to hear and see each other, couples end up discussing who is right or wrong. One partner likely becomes defensive or feels hurt and things drag on with both parties feeling unsatisfied and/ or exhausted.

Using this journaling technique helps you get in touch with your feelings regularly. Clearly identifying for yourself, whether something in your relationship or out in the world is creating stress and anxiety will help you get back to feeling grounded and connected much  more quickly.