marriage counselling

Are you unknowingly deducting happiness from your relationship?

Are you unknowingly deducting happiness from your relationship? 80% of the couples that come to see me for relationship therapy or marriage counselling want to get back to their happy place. Once we dive a little bit into the couple’s history, I usually hear that things started out well. I’m sure you can relate to that. Most likely when you met your partner you were pretty happy with him or her. If you take a …

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Has Addiction damaged your self-esteem?

Has Addiction damaged your self-esteem? It doesn’t matter whether you love someone who is struggling with Addiction or if you are an Addict, part of the emotional roller coaster of living with Addiction is the impact it has on your self-esteem. As an Addictions Counsellor and Marriage therapist I often help couples navigate the journey of recovery from co-depency and other addiction to rebuilding trust and self-esteem. Can you relate to Hank and Renée? When …

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Are you stressed and feeling in constant crisis mode?

Are you stressed and feeling in constant crisis mode? Do you spend a lot of time worrying about things that are out of your control? Do you agonize over doing it just right so you can avoid conflict of disappointing others?  Perhaps you experience “crises” similar to the following examples: Your adult daughter calls you frantically from work. This is her first day at the new job and she was supposed to bring various signed …

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When lovemaking feels like doing dishes in the dark OR The Art of Giving and Receiving Feedback in the Bedroom

When lovemaking feels like doing dishes in the dark OR The Art of Giving and Receiving Feedback in the Bedroom Imagine what it would feel like to do the dishes in the dark. You would sort of know what you’re doing because  you’re familiar with the layout of your kitchen sink  and the dish soap. But you probably wouldn’t be feeling very confident about the results.  If your goal was to have  satisfyingly clean dishes,  …

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Are you ready for more love in your relationship?

Are you ready for more love in your relationship? As a marriage therapist and couples counselor, I regularly listen to couples share the pain they experience when they don’t get the love they want. Often, especially in the beginning of couples counselling, there can be a fair amount of focus  on how the pain is the other person’s fault, i.e. the result of what the other person is doing “wrong” or failing to do. Similar …

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Is scorekeeping eroding your marriage?

Is score keeping eroding your marriage? Have you felt hurt, disappointed, under appreciated or rejected in response to something your spouse said or did or didn’t do? And have you then gone ahead and adjusted your own behaviour based on that experience? Take the example of Quinn and Lara: Lara used to cook dinner for Quinn but often he would come home late and her lovingly prepared meal would be cold or overcooked. She interpreted …

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