communication tips

Do you know the number 1 secret to a fulfilling long-term relationship?

Do you know the number 1 secret to a fulfilling long-term relationship? You may be surprised if I told you that you would have received an answer to this question at my Hot Yoga class the other day. While several of us were struggling with a pose, the instructor repeated  “The answer lies in the connection!” a few times. From experience I know this is true. When I can stay fully connected to my body …

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When you can’t stop criticizing each other – how to stop the blame game

When you can’t stop criticizing each other – how to stop the blame game Do you ever think or say “I can never do anything right!” or “No matter what I do, it’s never good enough for you!” when you’re involved in yet another squabble with your partner? When Harry and Jen came to see me for couple’s counselling in Burnaby they were both very frustrated. Over the last couple of years their bickering had …

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“Pillow Talk” Part 2: addressing orgasm difficulties

“Pillow Talk” Part 2: addressing orgasm difficulties Have you ever faked an orgasm? If yes, please take a moment and acknowledge to yourself why you answered the famous question “Did you come?” with a lie. As a sex therapist and relationship counsellor I help couples address this questions and the potential surrounding anxieties in a way that is nurturing and supportive rather than anxiety provoking and frustrating. When the question “Did you come?” turns into …

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3 Key Practices for Creating Relationship Thrival

3 Key Practices for Creating Relationship Thrival Have you stopped feeling special in your relationship? As a marriage therapist, I often hear one half of a couple who has come for couple’s counselling, share his or her sadness and disappointment about not feeling special anymore in the relationship. This can prompt the other spouse to exclaim “What do you mean, you don’t feel special? Of course you’re special to me.” Often  the partner replies with something similar to …

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How to stop the Power Struggle in your relationship

How to stop the Power Struggle in your relationship When couples consider marriage counselling or relationship therapy, they’re often   gridlocked or stuck in a power struggle. A very common issue that surfaces in couple’s counselling sessions is “He or she is so controlling, I can’t stand it anymore.” Two things may be happening if you’re partner has a need to control, i.e. decide how things get done or what you’re going to be doing. First …

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What should be on the top of your to-do list to make your marriage flourish?

What should be on the top of your to-do list to make your marriage flourish? Over the years of offering marriage counseling to couples, I’ve noticed that there are some recurring stories or themes that propel individuals to seek out couples counseling.   One such theme is “I’m not getting a lot out of our marriage/relationship anymore.” This statement is often accompanied with a sense of bewilderment, sadness or resignation. There is a sense of …

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