Why can couple’s counselling before marriage have an impact on your sex life?
Pre-marital counselling or pre marriage therapy is becoming more and more popular, not only with celebrities like Jennifer Aniston. When couples come to see me because they need help resolving conflicts they have become gridlocked on, in our first session I also ask “How is your sex life?”. Usually the answer is: “It hasn’t been great for a while”.
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While fatigue and lack of time are the two top “sex life wreckers” in relationship, what impacts intimacy and passion the most is willingness or the lack thereof. Before desire comes willingness. And if over a period of time, you have started to harbor resentment, disappointment and hurt because you don’t feel heard, seen or understood by your partner, your heart is slowly going to become less open. It takes an open heart to create an intimate connection. And an open heart requires emotional safety.
Usually when you are in the throes of wedding prep you are in the honeymoon phase of your relationship. Often you can’t even imagine that you could feel less attracted or have less desire for your beloved at some point in the future.
But we all bring our baggage with us and certain parts of our personality or triggers don’t show up until we are well into having to navigate all the stresses of daily life.
In my pre marriage courses or pre-marital therapy sessions you will not only identify what potential triggers you are bringing into the relationship, but I will help you fine tune your boundaries and how you communicate so you are able to truly hear each other without becoming defensive or getting caught up in content.
Have you ever felt frustrated because you are trying to let you partner know that something is bothering you, but you end up “fighting” about who is right or wrong? Often in the end one or both of you will walk away feeling defeated or disappointed because somehow s/he doesn’t seem to get it. When this happens over and over again…you have an issue and it doesn’t get resolved…even if the issue is not really that big, you start to create a story in your head about how your partner doesn’t care or how your needs don’t seem to matter.
When couples reach this point, they often choose to see a couple’s counsellor. But why risk the possibility of ending up in this place on day when it is preventable?
Why not do everything you can to ensure that your marriage will be as beautiful and special as you are planning your wedding to be? Couple’s counseling before marriage offers you an opportunity to create a strong and resilient life of shared meanings and goals together.
But we all bring our baggage with us and certain parts of our personality or triggers don’t show up until we are well into having to navigate all the stresses of daily life.
In my pre marriage courses or pre-marital therapy sessions you will not only identify what potential triggers you are bringing into the relationship, but I will help you fine tune your boundaries and how you communicate so you are able to truly hear each other without becoming defensive or getting caught up in content.
Have you ever felt frustrated because you are trying to let you partner know that something is bothering you, but you end up “fighting” about who is right or wrong? Often in the end one or both of you will walk away feeling defeated or disappointed because somehow s/he doesn’t seem to get it. When this happens over and over again…you have an issue and it doesn’t get resolved…even if the issue is not really that big, you start to create a story in your head about how your partner doesn’t care or how your needs don’t seem to matter.
When couples reach this point, they often choose to see a couple’s counsellor. But why risk the possibility of ending up in this place on day when it is preventable?
Why not do everything you can to ensure that your marriage will be as beautiful and special as you are planning your wedding to be? Couple’s counseling before marriage offers you an opportunity to create a strong and resilient life of shared meanings and goals together.