mindfulness

You might wonder how breathing can alleviate stress… it’s not as if you weren’t breathing the last time you were stressed or anxious. But if you think about how you tend to breathe when you’re tense, you will most likely realize that your breathing is quite shallow.

I’d like to thank North Vancouver Kinesiologist Raina Croner who facilitates Corrective Exercise Therapy & Personal Health Training at www.inspiringmovement.com (604-760-1205) for generously contributing this guest blog post and sharing some of her knowledge about breathing.

This is what she writes:

You can breathe through anything…I truly believe this for all of our life experiences and activities.  As babies, we are born with the natural and healthy ability to breath from our bellies.  With age, most people shift from this healthy abdominal breathing to shallow chest breathing.  Breathing is the one bodily function we can do either unconsciously or consciously.

Practitioners of Yoga have known for centuries about the importance of guided breathing, and Western cultures are now embracing the benefits of breathing correctly. We develop unhealthy habits without being aware of it, such as: poor posture and being sedentary with diminishes lung capacity, daily responsibilities are demanding and we forget to breathe, and also muscle tension resulting in faster and shallower breathes.  This shallow, quick breathing:

  • Decreases oxygen intake and carbon dioxide elimination.
  • Can decrease our lung function
  • Decrease oxygen leads to reduced vitality, premature ageing, poor immune system function… just to name a few!

We have created this shallow, quick breathing because we are in too much of a hurry most of the time, have an increase in stress and therefore have developed a reactive negative response to our environment – easily excitable, angry and anxiety.  These all affect our rate of breathing.  Keeping us in a constant state of “fight”!

Yogis believe that the nose functions to absorb Prana (the Sanskrit word for “vital life”; one of the five organs of vitality prana ”breath” – http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Prana), therefore if you breathe through your mouth and NOT your nose you are missing all the vital energy (prana).  They also say that this is a major factor in our lowered resistance to disease and impairment of our vital glands and nervous system.  Therefore, Yoga proves to have beneficial effects on the body if done with proper breathing.

You don’t have to be a yogi to practice good breathing, here is a simple technique that you can implement into your day with ease.  You can start with just spending a few minutes a day practicing, practice at times of acute stress or just add to your morning/bedtime routines.  Before long you will breathe easier and experience amazing improvements in your life.

How to breathe deeply

How many times have you heard the expressions “take a deep breath” and “breathe through your diaphragm”? If you’re not really sure how to, try this exercise:

  1. Start by lying on the floor on your back. (This will make it easier to develop the proper deep breathing technique the first couple of times.)
  2. Place one hand on your upper chest and the other on your belly just above your waist.
  3. Breathe in slowly through your nose. You should feel the hand on your belly rise.
  4. Breathe out slowly through your mouth. The hand on your belly should gradually lower.
  5. Repeat steps 3 and 4 a few times, then focus on allowing your ribcage to expand and widen as your belly moves out, so that you are filling up your entire lungs, from bottom to top.

Because as a counsellor I specialize in Somatic Psychotherapy, clients who work with me in my counselling office in Burnaby or on the North Shore will tell you that among other things, we focus on breathing.

Whether it is Addiction Counselling or Divorce Counselling… all our work together usually addresses anxiety, stress, trauma and /or some form of depression.

Breathing techniques are a great resource to self-soothe in every situation. Best of all, influencing our emotions and the tension in our body thru breath is free, healthy and always available to us.

Many years ago, when I was training in Dance Movement Therapy and Ritual Theater, at some point during the exercises I would find myself overwhelmed with feelings. At the time, that felt scary and “not good enough” and a typical reaction was to tell myself that I had to “get a grip.”

How often do you tell someone in your life…yourself perhaps… to get a grip?  To get it together?

Other versions of this are “What’s the matter with you?”

Because really and truly, what is the matter with you? Why are you unhappy or depressed or feeling anxious? Why are you unsatisfied with your life? You have no reason. You have a good life, a good partner, a job and a roof over your head. Think about all the people on this planet who are so much worse off than you are.

It doesn’t make sense!!

If this type of inner dialogue sounds familiar, then you also know that these kinds of thoughts and feelings are very unsettling. If like many, you manage uncomfortable or painful feelings thru emotional eating, you might find yourself standing in front of the fridge or cupboard looking for that special treat which will make you feel better.

But what if it did make sense? What if there was NO thing wrong with you?

What if you were able to stop, breathe and stop censuring yourself?

If you were to allow yourself to sit in authenticity, your feelings surfacing without judgment?

What would happen?

You could find a gateway to your true self. You would be able to still the longings that have somehow gotten on the “forbidden” list.

You would not have to go looking for food again and again until you decide to punish yourself with a diet.

Three things are needed for the process of “allowing it to make sense.”

You need to let go of shame and find your courage so you can cultivate self-compassion.

If you can embody who you already are rather than trying to be something you’re not, you’re on your way to uncovering compassion.

Be present with yourself and trust your knowing.
Accept the awareness of your feelings and allow them to be good enough, to be perfect just the way they are.

That is your first step towards letting go of shame and practicing self-compassion.

Initially, this place of authenticity can be scary and uncomfortable, because the old voices in your head telling you that your feelings don’t make sense and you should “get a grip” do not disappear quietly. However, a practice of mindfulness and loving kindness towards what defines you in this moment will allow you to linger more often and for longer periods of time in your place of truthfulness.

Remember, authenticity is not a quality, it is a collection of choices that you make every day and every moment. The more you can love yourself and who you are, the less you will need to turn to food to stuff down how you really feel.

 

This in turn will allow you to heal your relationship with food and your body and break free from the pursuit of weight loss thru yo-yo dieting.

I leave you with a quote from Oriah Mountain Dreamer:

“What if the question is not why I am so infrequently the person I really want to be, but why do I so infrequently want to be the person I really am?”
Warmly,

Ina

Eating Disorders Therapist North Vancouver, Counselling Burnaby

A lot of the pain that I witness in my work is connected to not feeling good enough. It is sad to watch the amount of self-flagellation we engage in because of old tapes running through our heads.

I came across this lovely piece of poetry by Donna Henes and would like to offer it in appreciation of the courage and beauty that I am also priviledged to witness every day as I hold space for healing and transformation to occurr.

I AM A DIVINE AND BEAUTIFUL BEING 

I CHOOSE TO LIVE EACH MOMENT WITH
APPRECIATION AND COMPLETE ACCEPTANCE
OF MY OWN DIVINITY AND BEAUTY. 

I CHOOSE TO APPRECIATE AND ACCEPT
THE BEAUTY IN ALL BEINGS AND
THE PERFECT DIVINITY IN EACH MOMENT

 I OPEN MY HEART TO THE POSSIBILITY
OF LOVE AND BENEFIT FROM
EVERY BEING AND EACH MOMENT. 

I PURGE MYSELF OF ALL DOUBT,
NEGATIVITY, JUDGMENTAL TENDENCIES,
GUILT, PANIC AND FEARFUL THINKING. 

I ALWAYS SEEK THAT WHICH I NEED TO GROW,
TO BUD, TO BLOOM, TO BLOSSOM,
TO FRUIT, TO BEAR SEED. 

I DARE TO DRAW INTO MYSELF THE POSITIVE
MANIFESTATION OF EACH TRIAL AND DIFFICULTY;
THE RIGHTNESS OF EVERY LESSON.

 I BREATHE DEEPLY AND SAVOR THE LOVE AND
BENEFIT THAT SURROUNDS  AND EMBRACES MY LIFE
AS I LIVE IT EACH MOMENT.

 I FORGIVE MYSELF WITH EACH BREATH I TAKE AND
RENEW MY TRANSFORMATIVE INTENTIONS
WITH EVERY BEAT OF MY HEART. 

I GLORY IN THE GOODNESS AND THE RIGHTNESS
OF ALL THAT I ENCOUNTER
AND ALL THAT I AM 

I AM A DIVINE AND BEAUTIFUL BEING.

 ©Donna Henes

 

Beware of advice that is designed to distract you when you want to overeat. Some time ago a client came to me seeking help to get her spending under control. She was afraid that she was well on her way to becoming a shopaholic.

Originally she’d been seeking help for overeating and binge eating. Internet research had led her to a blog post where the author was suggesting that the next time one felt lonely, depressed, angry or sad, one shouldn’t take a trip to the refrigerator but a trip to the mall.

Skeptical at first but wanting to find a way to control her binge eating, my client gave the advice a try.

One day, just when she was about to devour the rest of a birthday cake in her fridge, she decided to get in the car instead and head over to Winners.

What a combination… the thrill of shopping while saving money!

It seemed to work…because when she left the mall she was in a great mood and the frustrations of the previous hours were momentarily forgotten.

The advice my client had found on the internet, suggested retail therapy to shift her mood combined with a “catch and release” technique.

Essentially, had my client followed the instructions “properly” she should have returned to the mall the next day with all her purchases and receipts in hand to get her money back.

Alas, here the plan failed. It seemed a shame to take some of the things back… besides, she was busy the next day. Thus time passed, until the next shopping spree. Shopping continued to leave her feeling thrilled and in a good mood until guilt started to set in.

While her fridge stayed full and her pants were becoming loose, her closet was swelling at an alarming rate…becoming a secret treasure cove filled with items never worn.

Her credit card bills were climbing sky high. Money that had been set aside for other important purposes had been spent.

The good feelings about herself were more and more ephemeral, being drowned out by the tireless voice in her head berating all her faults.

She realized, that she was feeling as poorly as she would feel after overeating. Shopping was definitely not filling her longing to feel good about herself nor her desire for connection. She had only succeeded in trading one unhealthy coping mechanism for another one, just as damaging.

Shopping addicts tend to shop when they feel depressed, lonely or angry. (If you’re wondering whether you’re suffering from Shopping Addiction, read more information here and feel free to contact me for a complimentary consultation).

If you’re trying to overcome binge eating, please realize that distracting yourself with some other compulsive activity is not the solution. Switching from bingeing to shopping did not help my client deal with her feelings of emotional pain.

Given her timely cognizance around this fact however did jump start something positive.

She reached a different level of awareness around her bingeing.

She was clearly able to identify when she was about to eat for other reasons than hunger.

This process of stopping – even if just for a moment – while resting in a place of mindfulness is the first step towards healing binge eating and overeating.

There is an exciting wave of mindfulness sweeping across North America. Ever since Geneen Roth has appeared on the Oprah Show and Oprah has endorsed the content of her new book “Women, Food and God” women and men have found motivation and courage to examine their relationship with food.

I am thrilled at how well Geneen’s Book “Women, Food and God” compliments my coaching course “Stop the Weight loss Boomerang – How to Stop Yo-yo Dieting and Emotional Eating”. Geneen uses a body-centered approach which is very similar to how I work and I am recommending her book to anyone with a desire to examine their emotional relationship with food.

So if you’re about to binge….rather than heading to the shopping mall… head to the bookstore :)

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